Radio Silent - Writing Piece #1

[No response]

…

[I thought]

You seem happier without me

I know I’m no longer charge of it

Just break one more thing for me

Break away these chains

Break every fragment of our memory 

Break this false hope I built

and leave me on the ground

I miss you a lot

You’re always on my mind

When I lay down in the park or my bed

I just wish you were there

Can you be here?

Here holding my hand while I cry or smiling at the sunset

Here holding a conversation while walking and listening to music

Hold me until we fall again

and leave me on the ground

I feel like a broken record 

Repeating our memory

Just imagine our journey

Imagine our first encounter with each other

Imagine every word, art piece, embrace, gift, tear

Imagine our story played as music and a painting

and leave me on the ground

I know I won't make you happy 

like when you’re with them 

Just give me back one thing

Give me back my heart

Give me back my love

Give me back my happiness 

and leave me on the ground

[I cry]

Here lies an unknown end of a Silent Period

Greet the stars up in the sky 

I’ll stay here 

on the ground

where we left

_______

[you spoke]

…

[I thought]

Will you come back if another storm comes? 

Were you actually worried for me?

Or just another false hope of mine? 

[you spoke]

…

[I spoke]

No need to know who you are

You are you

That’s why I fell in love 

Uncertainty is someone I know well

Someone I despise and feared

I know you can face it, like I once did too

[I thought]

But why do you still haunt my dreams and thoughts? 

Why did you come back even for a second? 

Do you, by any chance, still love me?

[No response] 

[you spoke] 

[I thought]

Is it alright for me to talk again?

I missed you, but we left

[I spoke]

[you spoke]

[I thought]

Here I go again, the Spiral of Confusion

[you spoke] 

…

[I thought]

Is that what you wanted to say?

How many times would it take 

for you, for me to

How many more dreams can I endure

They are becoming popcorns of confusion

Like your words, your actions, your face

Like our memories, our story 

[I spoke]

Thank you

[No response] 

Am I really being held by a hair?

Am I spiraling once more?

What am I supposed to do when I see you again? 

…

[I cry]

Here lies a game of Flickering 

Greet the trees of wonder

I’ll stay here 

near the lake

where I was left 

_____

As autumn tries its best to approach

We still talked

Nothing of the unusual 

Until you spoke of memories 

I question if I'm okay

If I moved on

From you

Because I know you have from me 

[You spoke] 

… 

[I thought] 

… 

You speak of words that I once told myself

every damn summer night 

How should I respond? 

What should I admit?

That longing 

of you

Or that pain

of that heartbreak

Or this piece of writing 

[I spoke]

…

[I thought] 

Please

Please, tell me 

what I should do 

how I should feel 

[I cry] 

Here lies an uncertainty

Greet the fields of tall grass

I'll stay here

On this bench

where it was left 

_____

{Ping}

… 

The truth was told 

which was once behind closed doors

Now enters anger 

…and confusion

What am I supposed to think of you?

______

Take it as the ending 

For a new beginning

To my first love: 

I wish you the best, as we leave 

… 

{Radio static}