SALAMI DEMON!!!!!!!

THERE IS A SALAMI STEALING GHOST DEMON HAUNTING MY HOUSE AND IT HATES CATS. 

SO EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I FEED MY CATS A LITTLE SALAMI AS A TREAT (cats can have a little salami as a treat) (haha /ref) BUT RECENTLY THE BAG OF SALAMI I WOULD FEED THEM WITH WENT MISSING. I THOUGHT NOTHING OF IT BECAUSE PEOPLE EAT SALAMI TOO. IT PROBABLY JUST GOT ATE, RIGHT? WRONG!!!!!!!! 

LATER ON THAT DAY, I WAS LOOKING IN THE FRIDGE FOR SOMETHING TO EAT, AND I SPOTTED THE OMINOUS SALAMI BAG BACK IN ITS ORIGINAL PLACE. I STILL THOUGHT NOTHING OF IT. MAYBE SOMEONE WAS JUST EATING IT, RIGHT? *LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER!!!!* BECAUSE GUESS WHAT. I GREETED MY CATS AND THEN CAME BACK TO TAKE THE SALAMI. IT WAS GONE. AGAIN. THERE IS AN EVIL SALAMI GHOST DEMON. AND HE DOES NOT WANT MY CATS TO HAVE A LITTLE SALAMI AS A TREAT. IM SO MAD