SCARY WASP ENCOUNTER

OK SO. I WAS TAKING OUT THE TRASH. LIKE ANY GOOD CIVILIAN. AND ON MY WAY BACK TO MY HOUSE. ALL OF A SUDDEN. I SAW SOMETHING. THAT SOMETHING WAS NOT A WASP. BUT TWO. TWO WASPS. I FROZE. I WAS SO TERRIFIED. I COULD NOT MOVE. I STOOD THERE. OUTSIDE. ON ONE OF THE HOTTEST DAYS OF THE YEAR. NOT MOVING. 

IT WAS NOT UNTIL MY BRAVE KITTY CAT WALKED OVER AND RESCUED ME THAT I WAS ABLE TO MOVE AGAIN. SEEING MY CAT NOT BE BOTHERED BY POSSIBLY THEEEEEE SCARIEST THING EVER!!! INSPIRED ME. I SLOWLY MADE MY WAY TO MY FRONT DOOR WITH MY CAT ARMY BESIDE ME. BUT THEN. I SAW SOMETHING ELSE. SOMETHING EVEN WORSE THAN TWO WASPS. THERE WAS A HIVE. ABOVE MY FRONT DOOR. MY FRONT DOOR THAT I HAD TO WALK THROUGH.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET TO THE DOOR? RUNNING WOULD NOT WORK. WASPS ARE ATTRACTED TO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS. (I THINK.) I WASNT EVEN ON MY PORCH YET. I COULDNT GO TO MY BACK DOOR, EITHER, AS IT WOULD TAKE LONGER, AND I WOULD LIKELY ENCOUNTER MORE WASPS ON THE WAY TO THE OTHER DOOR.

BUT THEN. WHEN I STARTED TO LOSE HOPE. MY CAT CLIMBED UP MY LEG AND I PICKED HER UP. I NOW HAD A WEAPON. I REGAINED MY HOPE AND SUDDENLY, A PLAN CAME TO ME. I WOULD SLOWLY SHUFFLE TO THE DOOR. AND THEN. WHEN I WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF IT, I WOULD RUN INSIDE AND CLOSE THE DOOR. SO I DID. I DID NOT ENCOUNTER ANY WASPS AFTER I RAN INSIDE, SO I CAN ONLY ASSUME THEY DID NOT FOLLOW ME, OR WERE SCARED OF BY MY TERRIFYING WEAPON (MY CAT).

MORAL OF THE STORY. WASPS ARE THE MEAN COUSINS OF BEES AND THEY ALL NEED TO BE ERADICATED!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE WASPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(SIDE NOTE. AFTER MY CAT BRAVELY STOOD BY MY SIDE, I WENT TO FIND THE SALAMI BECAUSE CATS CAN HAVE A LITTLE SALAMI AS A TREAT. BUT I WAS SHOCKED TO SEE THAT THE SALAMI HAD VANISHED AGAIN!!!! CURSE YOU SALAMI DEMON!!!!!!!!!!!)