So apparently I’m mentally unsound

This is a bit of a rant? For context, I’ve been going through increasingly difficult low periods for the past maybe three months? I honestly think it’s been longer- like I just haven’t feel like myself for what could be a few years. Anyway, I have some not so great coping habits, so I self isolate a lot. 

A few weeks ago, my mom called me over cause I just couldn’t mask it and I got really visibly miserable. Anyway, she wants to talk about my mental health, and like always, it stops being about my problem and becomes an effort to cheer me up I guess. Which might sound like an odd thing to be annoyed with- but sometimes I just need her to listen, yk?

Anyway, she tells me that whenever I feel really bad, I should tell her instead of bottling it cause I tend to have really bad breakdowns. Well about a week or so later, I’m going through a really dark period, and it’s getting to a point where I’m having violent thoughts to myself. I go to tell her and she seems really annoyed. An argument starts and she basically goes, ‘if ur gonna do something, do it’. She then reverses that and suddenly I suck the worst cause I decided to do what she said and come to her about how I felt.

Well, since that little incident, I’m now apparently a flight risk. My mental is too messed up for me to get a job (mind you, I’ve been trying to get one since I turned 15- she was just as against it then), and going out and doing stuff without her or any of my other family is ‘too risky’. 

This shit sucks