stop being so scared of urself lol

okay i wasnt really sure what to call this but it is what it is.

anyways. you gotta stop being afraid to do things when literally no one will ever see them!! in particular with like drawing or writing, or anything creative really. let me explain lol.

i have a sketchbook that i take everywhere with me. i show people some of my drawings, but in no way am i obliged to show anyone, the sketchbook is just for fun and its just for me. so WHY am i so scared to just draw? why do i erase stuff cause its 'bad' or 'ugly'?? like im not being forced to show anyone, so why not just keep the so called 'ugly' stuff in the book? 

this thought was prompted by me finding an old mcr fanfic i wrote when i was 12. i would NEVER show it to anyone because it kinda sucks, but  the point is that i have that writing to hold on to. i didnt remember writing it until i re found it 5 years later. similarly to the former paragraph, i was looking through old sketchbooks and it brought back so many memories, because each individual drawing was connected to a certain point in my life.

especially at such a formative time of my life, im so glad that i logged my experiences and interests through creation despite maybe not being happy with all of the results. because now, only 5 years later, i am able to see what i was going through as well as my skill progression ive made with my hobbies.

and this is only 5 years! imagine in 20, having the ability to go through all of the 'failed' drawings and 'bad' writing i did during my time in school.

the point im making is just DO things without worry of consequence. it is hurting nobody to try things out and act on your creative ideas. so yeah, if you have a silly idea for something, then you are literally the only person stopping yourself. maybe you think it wont turn out the way you expected. so? who cares. if the idea exists, make it reality. literally no one is forcing you to show a soul. its the act of doing things that matters, not the result.

just imagine in 10 years, looking through old things and you find a sketchbook, only to see it empty due to your former fear of failure. now imagine you open the sketchbook and its full of drawings, some things you were super proud of and others maybe not so much. despite your perceived quality of the work, at least it exists as a relic from the past.

anyways lol. this was mostly just to motivate myself lol. but why are you stopping yourself? learn that song on guitar, write that fanfic, record that video of you ranting about your favourite thing for 20 minutes. you gotta trust yourself!! stop trying to make everything perfect and stop seeking validation in everything. some things are just meant to exist for you.

idk lmao this is kinda bad but i had a thought (and it didnt harm anyone to act on it, did it... heh)