The darkest points of my music career.

I would say my first dark point of making music is back when I was still making horrorcore rap under the name BXTCH, I was so horrible and getting lied to that it was actually good and I was so done trying be an edgy 12 year old who said horrible things for “shock value”. I ended up quitting bitch and I felt like I was never going to make the music I wanted to, I felt I sucked too bad and couldn’t even play an instrument so what was the point. Once I got the name ecurb again I tried to peruse rapping again, I made 4 songs under ecurb that were rapping dad/deadbeat, Lorraine, pop that cd in, and kiss the bride. Something else happened during this time though, I got my first guitar and I changed Lorraine from this horrible rap song about a girl getting bullied into a two chord riff song about checking in on Lorraine. Of course it was a very janky song but it marked a pivotal moment in my music career that helped later on. I made two more songs during this time them being named abuse and I’ll never be good enough but unfortunately after all these songs were made I ended up quitting for a long time. This was in February of 2025 when I quit btw. Fast forward a bit it’s now summer of 2025 a horrible time for me I was in a deep hole but for some reason I got the interest to play guitar again so I went out and bought a classical guitar and ended up making a ton of short riffs the first one being named sad acoustic shit and all these short riffs followed the same 2 chord pattern. At the end of July 2025 I ended up recording an album with vocals and all, it only took me a couple days to record the entire thing and the album was named Bloody romance. It came out on September 2nd 2025 and I was finally happy where I was. Now before I get to the second dark time of my music career I need to mention the creation of clueless and my album therapy session. I made clueless in December 2025 with my friend Ryker aka floyd and it was very very different from what I usually made. Therapy session also came out in December and it was a point that I thought was my semi big break. Now that you know that let’s fast forward to June 2026. clueless has now made 3 albums at this point going onto 4, on our previous album sky we literally had zero conflict we tried a bunch of new things and everything. For some reason on this album Floyd wanted to only do rap, it’s safe to mention I wasn’t in a good time and as I said earlier I left my rap career awhile ago at this point, the biggest thing that happened during this time was i completely lost the motivation to do music. I was lost, felt like I sucked, and tired of making music. Fortunately Floyd made this beat for a song called “Staring Out My Rainy Hotel Is Better Then Bed” instead of whining I did the song and I unwinded every single feeling I thought especially the losing motivation part. Lucky for me this song brought back all my motivation and I didn’t quit like I almost did. If you’re a musician reading this and h you’re thinking about quitting keep trying and see truly if quitting is where you’re at first. That’s all for now goodbye.