Weirdly emotional Peter Steele yammering

I've been thinking about Peter Steele a lot lately, I tend to do that when my period is soon to come. Well, I always think about him but when I think about him on/near my period I get really sad about it? It's kind of a Type O Negative cliche and stereotype to be super into or only care about Peter Steele, unfortunately I fall into that stereotype kinda too.

I don't idolize or think of him as a god among men, I do find his life and music very interesting though. Peter was an odd man who did a lot of odd things, including really dumb and not smart things. I feel like he was mostly a genuine guy in his life despite that.

Obviously Peter had a life before Type O Negative, there was Carnivore, Fallout, I like his Carnivore outfits were really good and I wished he did more of that in his work.

Most of what I think about though is his emotional life. He had relationship troubles, mental troubles, drug troubles, and just the pain of life. I think that makes me so emotional because I relate to him in a lot of ways(lol yea Im a teengirl and have sooooo much in common with this grown man metal artist ooooh). The emotional struggles he sang about really resonate with me, not just the love related ones.
As much as I love hearing Peter sing sweet nothings and get really sensual that probably something I don't yearn for much. He yearned for love wayyy more then me, I'm too shy and afraid of intimacy to be longing like that.

But his songs about life problems, drug use, and hospitalization really hit hard. My favorite album is Life Is Killing Me, and my favorite song is 'Life is killing me' XD I love it how he combines ethereal and rough gutteral sounds in his songs, Anesthesia is my second favorite but it was also my introduction to Type O Negative and everything else.

I think it's amazing how high Peter Steele can sing. He has such a thick and very distinct voice, he's Brooklyn so it makes sense. But other then that, the fact he can sing very high and sound so clear with it is something that amazes me. I do choir and struggle as an Alto, he sings high for a very deep voiced man! He's better than me.

A main thing that really hits me though is his want for a family all his life. His parents died when he was young and he talked about always having off feelings about himself, it didn't help that he was a 6'8 eight man I imagine. He talked about wanting to find a nice lady, have a family with her, play with his kids. He wanted to have kids young so he could play and relate to them and not be hindered by his age. I can only imagine the almost dreadful feeling he might've had as he got older and still could find or make the classic family unit he wanted.
He seemed to find a sense of family in his cats though, seeing that is really sweet when I read-up and research about him, and his band too. It was just a bunch of dudes and they all seemed to have fun with eachother. I try to not think of Peter's life as just one full of bad stuff and being mad about how the world treated him. I am still sad about have everything played out for him, but I like to hope he found some security in his life.

I have a lot of feelings about Peter, even more then this  But I don't wanna seem like a CRAZYYYYY parasocial super fan that lives, breaths, thinks about him. I definitely love that guy a lot but I don't wanna seem weird about it since he was a real guy and I don't personally know him.