look, i understand community is a powerful thing, and that we all deserve to feel belonging. but sometimes it comes to a point - a community can coddle you, hinder you, spit the same two ideals at you, and once it's at that stage, it can no longer be a benefit to you.
i've seen the same thing happen to various snark subs, or real legitimate subs like r/averageheightdudes. people have a common irritant or insecurity and seek refuge or comfort in either a shared experience or attitude.
i was recommended r/trueuglywomen, and i honestly really enjoy being recc'd random subs, but i've lingered here for a spell and it is so, so, so, so exhausting. i truly feel bad for them. not because of their looks - not that it matters or is even true; what they believe they look like - but of their own perception of them. they are their own cage. i won't deny pretty privilege is a thing or that you won't get treated unfairly as a woman for doing or not doing or looking like anything at all, but they are at a stage of suffering that is unhealthy and bordering on delusion.
is having conventional unattractiveness in any or all aspects of ourselves the worst thing? if we are treated unfairly for our appearances, is it then fair to subjugate ourselves and eventually others for not fitting in the same constructs we're "bound" by? r/averageheightdudes will blatantly say any short guy is hardly human - sometimes they will make the distinction that short men are perceived as less than human, but the "perception" part will fall away and the insult becomes a belief. then they call other men that.
it's easy to be hateful and jealous, i am all the time. i have to work on it. but my outright refusal of perpetuating my own suffering is what originally got me to move forward. unless you are under a direct threat of violence, emotional or physical, you are your own cage. no one will save you, no one's love or affection or lust will make you feel better.
and calling other women 'moids' is fucking repulsive. when women fight each other, we all lose. grow the fuck up.
