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I'm not well

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I admit, I'm not mentally ok.

I broke up with my first ever serious boyfriend (I never had a serious relationship due to the fact that it was mostly sex until now) this monday and wanted to be friends; I found trust in him because he listened and cared, so I overshared a lot to him, but then he told me to change, which yeah, he was right, but as I said to him, I can't get better from dawn 'til dusk (that's why I go to therapy, a thing he said it was unnecessary to me) because I never had a family that 100% supports me. And after yesterday I sent him a long text about all of the things I'm experiencing and overthinking everyday, he only focused on the sex part and wanted to cut ties with me. And obviously I got mad too and cut ties with him too. 

Now I'm alone and lonely again. I always got all the guilt (especially by my mother) about how I communicate my emotions, being told that I'm childish and selfish, and how I do things. And yeah, it's true, but it's an horrible feeling to be told to "change and be mature". IT MAKES ME MORE MAD THAN SAD! 


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