How did you become aware of your sexuality?

My question is exactly the one in the title; lately I've had a big doubt about my sexuality with respect to women, I feel that thanks to my family's homophobic views, it is impossible for me to truly discern :c

Well when it came to me being bisexual the realisation just sort of dawned on me. I realised what I felt for woman was the same for guys. Though me being trans was waaaayy more complicated. Mainly because I don't feel any disphoria presenting as a woman, which made things really complicating and confucing. I felt as if Iwasn't really trans if I was so apathetic to being a woman. I remember the night I realised because I was adding up all the pieces. From all the times I looked in the mirror at my mustache and like it because I looked manly, the vivid fantasises of being an alternative boy, etc.

Even now sometimes I feel unstable in my sexuality and identity and I think the reason for it are outside forces to be honest. Like you said the world's homophobic bviews make it harder to disrcern.

I learned what the difference on sexual and romantic attraction in school and I understood what I like. I thought I was bi, but then I realised I don't actually care about my sexuality as long as I myself know what I like, so now I'm non labeled. Then for being Demi girl, I've always felt like I'm not really a girl, but still are lol. Idk how to explain it better, but I realised that I'm Demi girl after people explaining it on TikTok and I realised that me(:

Not gonna lie, I was changing sexualities and gender throughout the years since 2020. In 2025 I just accepted that I was bisexual and nothing more, I didn't really want to fit into too many labels at once. Aside from all of the homophobic views that your family has, if a sexuality feels right for you, even if it takes a long time or if it takes changing, then that's all that matters. You don't have to rush into it, take all the time you need, it wasn't easy for others and for me either. :)

i'm straight so uuh i just knew it from the start

I've been asexual for 5 years now and sex repulsed, I've fully accepted it after realizing that I've never looked at people a certain way but maybe I'm wrong and been hanging around the wrong people but I've never had a preference for anyone. I think the first time it started to spark to me was 6th grade where I had to lie about being lesbian to anyone who came onto me. It just feels awkward and plus the only and last relationship I had was horrible so I'm not planning on dating anyone else for awhile, for pronouns I've been dysphoric about my gender for a while until I just decided to be both.

My whole adolescence I had been strong on saying I’m bisexual, I’ve dated both men and women and stuff but I realised I’m more of a straight bisexual but still bisexual. I realised that when I actually kissed a girl. But it doesn’t matter now does it? I’m with a guy now, and it sort of made me realise that a vast majority of bisexuals always end up with the opposite sex. 

Also it’s okay to experiment until you find what’s right for you, don’t listen to others xx. 

I'm not really sure, just kind of came around naturally. Started questioning, then just expanded my preferences to anyone over the years. Straight to bi/pan/omni (lots of overlap, but I mainly use omni because I think the flag looks nicer)

I was lucky enough to go to a very small middle school, and find my way into a very small friend group of queer people. I was already exposed to the concept of gay people through the internet, but meeting other people my age in person made me realize I also get that option, and it just kind of naturally came to me at that point that I was bi. Took me a little longer to work out my gender, though.

i met a guy real long time ago.. and it was like neuron in my brain awoke (´• ω •`) now we are inseperable! i will admit, was kind of against the idea of myself at the time, as was raised in home with very homophobic grandmother. but, is who you choose to be in this world. so, dont worry at all. follow your own opinion, dont let control happen. youll find the right person, then youll find out for sure what you love! is what im always thinking. have a good day forum poster sherr! i wish you luck in self discovery! (⌒‿⌒)

Im demisexual, panromantic( i dont like long labels but this best describes it). 

i had never really thought of my sexuality until my brother asked me "do you even like guys?" and i said no cause i thought thats what he excepted to hear, because i had only expressed interest in chicks, and i was a people pleaser.

thats when i became aware of my sexuality and that its different than others. I had never really thought about it cause i knew a buncha queer people, and so did my folks. later i thought i was ace, found out i was demi.

thinking back to watching old tv shows, i had always like a dude and a chick, or sometimes just a dude, most of the time i didnt have a crush on anyone. i didnt think anything of it.

the only tip i can think of is dont worry about it too hard. its a bad one i know, but youll find out sooner or later. how old are you? *looks at profile* 

oh yeah, you have so much time to think about this.

I'm so sorry you're surrounded by homophobic family, it really does mess with your head hearing all that hatred and ignorance, and I'm sending you my love. I realised from a very young age that I was attracted to women, femme people, and gender diverse people, not just men. But I had internalised homophobia which made it difficult for me to accept my sexuality fully until I was in my late teens. I think what made me come to accept it was finding out so many of my friends were queer too, and that was something I adored about them, and that the upset and discomfort for my own sexuality came from outside sources of people putting down the lgbtqia+ community, it didn't actually come from me. Going to more queer events, spaces, going on sapphic dates, and having so many queer friends in my life has enriched my existence so deeply and made me accept myself. I also want to say there is no rush to have it all figured out, it's okay to take your time figuring out what you like in life, be it romantically, career wise, interests and hobby wise, etc. Self discovery is a life long process and you deserve to give yourself grace in figuring out what feels best for you

For me, I didn’t realize I was a lesbian until quite recently! (Last year, at 16) But now that I know, I don’t think I could identify as anything else. 

I’ve always known that I never want to date or have intimate relations with a man, and even as a young girl in a homophobic Christian family I never had interest in boys (not even a crush on a single one). I actually didn’t know it was possible to fall in love with the same gender (again, raised in a homophobic household) until 6th grade, and when I found out I was taught to believe it was wrong. 

So for a long while I identified as aroace (aromantic-asexual). However, I’ve always thought women were so beautiful. Throughout my childhood and adolescence, I gawked in awe at the girl characters in my favorite TV shows. I thought “men look so basic, but I see so many beautiful women [in real life] everyday”. I admired a lot of lesbian couples in media, despite believing it was wrong. I even remember being a freshman thinking “God I wish I had a girlfriend!” I should’ve known sooner that I was gay??? Like how did I not identify as a lesbian after that??? 

It wasn’t until my sophomore year when I looked into the origins of the anti-homosexuality in the Bible. Turns out, the term “homosexuality” wasn’t added to the Bible until the 1940s and the original verses cover p3d0ph1lia. This meant I could identify as gay and there was nothing wrong with it. So I did. Shortly after that, I began deconstructing my religion and my other beliefs, but that’s for another time I suppose. 

And that’s how I figured out I was a lesbian! :) 

Like @Lee2 said, you've got a LOT of time to figure things out. Overcoming learned biases and internalized ones is a big task, but you seem like you're on your way to it. Once you're out in the world more, it should become a lot easier to discern what you feel inside. And sometimes, it can take a long time, so don't become discouraged! Especially if you try a label on for size, and find it doesn't fit. Phases are okay. Phases are how we learn and grow, so if you find yourself changing your mind on your sexuality or gender identity, that is OKAY. You're not "faking it" or anything.

It took me until my early 30s to realize that I was bi-gender (I fall squarely into the binary), because cis women generally don't want to cry about their lack of a beard, and then go track down realistic ones that would match their hair color. And then it took even longer to finally admit I was bisexual, and that was hard. I carried a lot of internalized homophobia from my school days, and never wanted to admit that I wasn't just a fan of certain female celebrities; I had crushes. Then, within the past two years, I came to realize that I was also sex-neutral asexual. For years, I thought I was just fucking broken. Turns out I'm not, and all it took was a lot of Hazbin Hotel fanfiction. Who knew??

You're gonna be just fine. Us older ones prove it. <3

uhh i dunno? i like girls and guys cus like everyone is a hottie in their own way!

i was first straight, then aromantic, then bisexual, then pansexual, then lesbian, and back to bisexual. 

personally, i dont know if my family is even homophobic and such, but i just never talked to them about it? i just kept it to myself and told a few others. (that aren't in my family tree/bloodline) i do have some homophobic friends but i literally never told them! XD

i hope you're doing okay, being around homophobic people that are, unfortunately (?), a part of your daily life.

a controversial (?) tip is that (from my one of my fav creators, meimazing) is that when you do find find your sexuality, and are considering whether to tell your parents, is that you shouldn't because it does feel worrying to keep it to yourself but YOUR SAFETY is the TOP priority. (something like that)

reminding myself that sexuality is fluid! i thought i was poly and pan for a long time, then it came to experimenting with labels. i called myself a lesbian for a long time, and then started to ask questions to others to realize im homoflexible! i think also letting go of being cringe or smth with nonpopular labels is great. like who cares, if ur happy then thats that. i discovered also being aroace after reflecting on past relationships when i finally got comfortable being on my own again. 

my biggest take from my own experience is just to experiment until you find something comfortable for you, or being unlabeled. let yourself be wrong. dont rush yourself either.

When I was young, I saw a woman and thought "Hey, that's pretty good!", a little bit later, I came across a guy and thought "Hey, that's pretty good!". Okay, it was a little bit harder than that... I grew up in a pretty homophobic place too, and so I had some of my own reservations.

The true answer is that you just like what you like, it doesn't need to be anymore complicated than that. What feels like love to you will get more clear to you as you get older and have had more time to love. If you ever feel love-curious about someone, just try to explore the feeling honestly.

grew up in a super homophobic area/family too so it was definitely harder than i'm about to make it sound, but it was just "oh i like everybody. oh cool, there's a word for that." and i've been pan ever since 

i wish it really was that simple for everybody. don't be afraid to try on as many hats as you need before you find the hat that's right for you. maybe you find you don't care about the hat label at all. that's fine too 

Dated both men and women. Just realized I couldn't feel any sexual attraction to men like I do with women. I technically still have occasional romantic attraction to men depending on how attractive I think they are, but sexually I've only ever liked women.

It was a long journey for me. At about 12 I suspected that I might be bisexual because I was attracted to girls in tv show or movies but I had never liked someone this way before since I was young. I identified as bisexual most of high school until one day I decided I was Aroace because I found no one interesting. I think this was more because everyone was mean to me and I didn’t see myself dating anyone in high school. By the time I was 16 I was very catholic and decided I was straight and I even tried to flirt with some boys. At 17 I was sure that I was a lesbian, and eveything felt so right once I accepted myself and stopped feeling repressed. I am still lesbian today and it’s the label that truly is the best for me. 

I knew for a very long time that I wasn't exacly straight, but I wasn't exactly sure what I was exactly, so I chose not to label myself for the longest time. That was until I developed a crush on my best friend ToT I remember one day we were chilling together on a couch, her head resting on my lap, and I couldn't help but wonder about what it would be like to kiss her. and then remembered that's not really something friends think about each other lmao. I realized then that 1. I had a crush on her and 2. that I never had and could never have feelings like this towards a boy.

(unfortunately that crush lasted literal YEARS and I still never told her and then we lost contact so yeahhhh)