I have this thing where I see myself being a nice and understanding person to someone and think "I'm getting better!", but then I suddenly think about every little thing I did to others and realize I was an extremely toxic person in the past and now I'm stuck thinking that I'll never be a good person because of it as if this shit was from I was 13.ย
Like obviously I know that I've done fucked up shit, but I'm trying to become a better person but it's hard when I'm suddenly thinking of my past fuck ups! Because then I obsess over everything and become extremely erratic and do dumb shit which just makes me look worse and then I shut away for a while because "holy shit that was such a stupid thing to do" and then I feel extremely guilty because obviously I shouldn't have done or said that and then I wonder if I'll ever become a better person.
I really want to become a better person of myself, but it's impossible when I'm obsessing over every little thing I could've possibly done in the past that was even MILDLY stupid. Does anyone else have this issue?? If so I would LOVE any kind of advice because this is driving me INSANE.
