i love my best friend more than anything else in the world, but she is so annoying sometimes.

i feel so bad anytime we spent time together, but ive been carrying with a huge hatred and envy towards her for the past 5 years. She always has what she wants, but most importantly she has a lot of friends and claims that no one likes her. An inmature problem of mine, i know. But i can't help it. Ive lost a lot of friends because of her, because everyones loves her even though she is always acting like a cringe and dumb child. Ugh, something that also makes me want to blow my head off is that she minimizes my own problems, when i told her i was SA'd at a summer camp, she just told me to suck it up. But anytime i look at her laughing with me at dumb shit, i feel warm.