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How do you go back to normal after grief?

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My best friend died on July 7th, 2026 and it's been really bad for me even after the funeral just getting over it. My life has gone back to normal as I was able to get access to his unreleased music and release the statement for his passing on his YouTube channel but how do you just, go back to feeling normal? 


I was disassociating and going a bit insane, talking-to myself and crying hoping he'd come back and say it was a prank, even putting his casket in. the ground was a bit of a struggle for me because I still couldn't believe it. My disassociation has gone down significantly thanks to therapy and friends but in the end, how do I write this new chapter of my life? I think about him everyday, we were supposed to be starting college this month, he was supposed to be my best man if I ever got married, so many things were close but God looked at me and stepped on my neck. 


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