I have sm regret bro. I wish my teenage years weren't such a waste

I have quite a few regrets surrounding highschool as a whole!! for one, I'd probably be in a better position if I didn't get held back so much and eventually dropped out on my senior year. but I really can't criticize myself for this, actually I feel more protective of my younger self than anything. That was the lowest period of my life. I was extremely mentally ill and had no will or real way of getting help, I was purposefully making myself worse and no one noticed. my body is forever mutilated from it and my life had some extremely close calls. it wasn't just school that I couldn't do, I couldn't do anything and that didn't stop until I was almost 20. I don't dwell on all of this too too much, because I'm honestly in a much better place and for that I'm grateful

but besides that, I began sophomore year with getting stuck in a relationship with this really manipulative guy for the next 4 years, which worsened my mental state even more. I regret it not just for the him-being-a-shit-person thing, but if I had the opportunity to experiment with my sexuality more I probably would've realized I only liked girls way sooner. my school had a lot of other queer folks so I could've made so many friends, or more, if I wasn't so isolated by him™

throughout my life I dated several men but no women at all, realizing that I'm lesbian is still fairly recent, which gives me crazy impostor syndrome sometimes. I really don't know how to meet new people IRL now that I'm an adult (dating apps scare me (I would lowk appreciate advice on this (thx))), and I struggle with even making friends, but honestly I want a girlfriend so bad 😭

but at least since 47 minutes ago I'm officially 21 so I can drink the regret away now!!!! (JOKE I hate alcohol I don't even want to try it lol)

When we’re teen, it’s hard to take our place in the world because we’re not adult yet, but we’re not young kids anymore. We’re told to act like adult and to prepare for adulthood, but we’re also not being taken seriously because we’re « just » teens. It makes it hard on mental health, because at that age, people say teens are dramatic.

I often wished that I had the confidence and self-estime that I have now when as a teen. Things might have been better. But we won’t ever know.

As for exploring your sexuality, it’s an ongoing thing for a lot of people. We have all our lives to figure out our likes and disikes, and it’s something that evolve. 

I know it’s sucks being told that, but going out meeting people is the best way to create connections. But it doesn’t have to be in places you’re uncomfortable going to. It can be as simple as the library or the park. Maybe even organized events. 

And giving a simple compliment (something about their clothes, or maybe what they’re reading) is a good start. Compliments are always great to get when they are done in a tastefull manner. 

Good luck with everything ❤️ and happy late birthday 

I relate to you in wishing the teen years were different.

As far as meeting people, finding hobbies that get you out of the house is a great way to meet people with common interests. That’s how I met the friends I have now. Good luck!

even though im not even 18 yet i relate a lot

being mentally ill sucks so badly and it feels like ive had 80% of my life torn out cause i cant handle school or even friends at all, though im better now its horrible being a child and so lonely especially in a period thats already (biologically) gonna be hell.

i cant say much abt the friends thing considering i struggle too LOL but honestly, the small things are SO important!! even just small conversations and showing bits of your personality is a great way to start getting closer, especially if you connect over said small conversation!

(ps. i recommend just going to casual places, (the library, events, sport/art classes))

Unfortunately the teenage years are always the hardest, it's the stage where you're most vulnerable:/ I struggled a lot in 2020-24 with depression and one thing that helped is going to concerts or organised events - maybe you won't find a life lasting friend but you will find a way to connect with others!! It's the small talk that helps the most sometimes. 

Wish you nothing but the best .. you CAN do it. =D

I don't want to make this about me, but I do wanna show you some parallels between our lives and hopefully give you at least a little hope.

I haven't finished a year of school since 7th grade because of my mental health. I got my GED when I was 17 because I couldn't handle going to school anymore and had landed myself in the hospital for 3 months due to an ED. (Just for the record, if you're in the US and don't have your GED- you only need 40% to pass it!!!)

When I was 18, I dated an evil abusive man who destroyed everything I was and then broke up with me the day before our anniversary. My plan that night was that I would die the next day. But I had school (EMT school) that day, so I did that. Got home and was tired so I went to bed. And then I just... kept living. There was no moment of "I'm not gonna kms" I just genuinely never got around to it.

The sexuality thing, all I can say is figuring that all out is always a mess, but at least we know now.

I also didn't shower or brush my teeth every day until I was TWENTY years old. My room was so dirty and disgusting because I was a (genuine) hoarder until I was 21! It's never too late to start a new life. It's never too late to change, or start over, or decide things are going to be different. I'm 23 now and on Monday I start Paramedic school, my dream job. It took a lot of hard work and a lot of mental breakdowns, but now I'm exactly where I want to be.

Don't give up. A better life IS possible, and it could be right around the corner. <3