gonna be vagueposting because im just really tired of rehearsing it all again and again through writing but I hate having to live with these memories and just the fact that this is my life this was my life this always will be my life. no matter what it was that happened i cant do anything to make it un-happen. those people exist. those stupid cruel people who dont care exist. and theyre everyone and in order to survive do i have to be them???? do i have to be stupid and cruel????
I have been trying so hard to stay tough and i have been trying so hard to push down any desire for validation just so i can stop getting muself hurt like i do time and time again, and then convince myself im in the wrong somehow just to realize how i got played when reflecting a week later, and i have to live with this every time. and not to mention the fucking house i live in makes it impossible for me to like my life or even feel ok with it but thats for another post i already made and if i go on about it again ill just upset myself more
but fuck man i canr believe this is actually my life. I actually knew these people. these people EXIST. WHY??????????????? and why do i have to live with these memories? on the same earth as THEM????
anyway does anyone know if bad scratches get infected or am i chill
