the other day while i was at work i caught myself absentmindedly thinking something really offensive about a few of the customers with food cards and was like... wtf where did THAT come from?
i suspect it's because my parents were really on my case about "you don't want to end up needing food stamps" when i was growing up and i guess that ended up mingling with some of the offensive stereotypes people in my school threw around around the same time. as a result even though i actually probably could use a food card i'm automatically like "but i'm not trailer trash and i don't live in the chicago ghetto?"
now that it's come to my attention, i've realized it's something i default to thinking and i shouldn't. i loathe prejudice so bad and i wish i would have realized this piece of it was stuck in my brain sooner. how do i get it out really fast?
related: i also had an aunt jenny that my parents constantly talked trash about because "she needs a food card and then begs grandma for cigarette money and beer." at her funeral we all learned she needed the extra money because despite being under the poverty line, she was providing shelter/meals for homeless people in her own home alongside over ten hours of charity work every week. (i have a feeling gma knew this, but mom and dad didn't)
despite the funeral, my parents STILL default to "begged grandma for cigarette money" any time jenny gets brought up. it's hard to get the image of my wiry-haired toothless aunt out of my head since i was always being compared to her.
I think you've crossed the biggest hurdle. The first, most important, and most difficult milestone:
You've recognized that it's there.
Then, you went on to decide that you'd like to overcome it.
Then, you've likely identified the source and that another big step in helping you get through it.
Baggage from the older generations.
I wonder what your great-grandparents thought and if your grandma and parents aren't each just a little better than previously.
But not good enough. Not yet.
No matter. You're already better.
The bad news is this: Due to the early influence from older family members, people whom you love and trust ... people who clearly love you ...
You might never be rid of it entirely.
The good news is:
You can make a conscious choice NOT to believe these ugly things you had been taught. To recognize that even the people who love you most make mistakes and have some shit ideas sometimes.
Clearly, one of the better gifts your older family members have given you is independence of thought.
You already know better.
Be vigilant to act better.
Ever strive to be better.
hi! i was raised in a similar environment, the best thing to do is to talk to people.
luckily, as a kid i realized my parents were wrong and continued to hang around people who i chose to be around. talking to people, understanding their stories, and making real connections is the best way to stop judging others.
Say a shit ton of racial slurs, itll get it out of your system. I do it everyday, thats why im such an ally
You must be logged in to reply.