i feel like i make too many topics about my life, i'll try to make it a lot less frequent.
i recently had my friend over, and life so far seemed, a lot more eventful compared to mine to say the least. he's leaving for college out of state and suggested to me i should too. i did briefly attend a nearby college before deciding it wasn't working out there, and i'm also going to this business program for computers. i'm due to complete next month.
but the main reason why i'm now seriously considering it, i just hate where i live. i can't connect or relate to the people around here. i don't have too many real life friendships, and i never had a real life relationship. i'm thinking if i start college again, but this time out of state, it can be a great opportunity.
my friend i mentioned earlier, initially we went to the same high school, but both of us loathed the place. he transferred around sophomore year, and as for me i was kind of forced to stay. we didn't talk much to each other while we went to high school together, but we reconnected and became good friends after i graduated. he seemed to have lived a very eventful life and make a lot of friends at his new high school. i did make friends in high school too, but most of them i don't talk to anymore.
a concern of mine is that i never lived alone before, so i'm afraid if i'll manage or not. but hey, after this business program is all said and done i should be able to get a solid job that pays well enough. it's a life lesson, and i have to leave the nest eventually, so maybe it won't be too bad.
probably my most important concern though is socializing and the people at said college. i don't know which college i'm going to yet or if i'm even going to follow through with this plan, but i want to be able to relate to the people there, and to feel welcome and not overwhelmed or alienated. i don't want people to force a smile whenever they see me or just be artificially nice to me, but just to be treated with decency. and i want to be able to talk to them, get to know them, and form meaningful relationships from there.
maybe i got a bit too personal with this one, but it's been on my mind all day and i've been meaning to write it.