No one told me it would be so bad not to have any friends

Enough already, I can’t take it anymore. I thought I’d be able to get through high school without friends and that friendship was overrated, but I’ve realized I depend on it. I hate my damn school, and it’s not just because no one shares my interests, but also because no one’s ever interested in being friends with me, and that’s awful. Everyone’s already in their little cliques, and if I try to fit in, I look like a weirdo forcing intimacy, It’s horrible and exhausting, and then there’s the fact that the people in this class are awful—they do and say horrible things. If you’re different from them, you’re considered horrible. Seriously, LGBT people wouldn’t survive here; trans people wouldn’t survive; autistic people wouldn’t survive; people with disabilities and anyone else would suffer terribly at this school. I don’t usually get bullied here, but that doesn’t mean I like seeing it happen. The friends I used to have here cut me off without explanation, out of the blue, and I only have one online friend—WHO USED TO BE MY EX. The only person who can still make me even a little happy is my boyfriend, who goes to school with me (in different classes) and works with me, but sometimes… I catch myself feeling jealous of the dozens of friends he has, and then I feel even worse. I can’t stand being at school anymore just to pretend I’m studying and wait for all the classes to end.

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Lets be friends!! im kind of a nuisance and may be clingy but still! i also have popularity tips ehe

as someone that had friends in school but am really bad at maintaining them I will say I don't talk to people other than the ones I come in contact to or who talk to me why idk I have always really been like that and now as an adult it doesn't seem so bad I've gotten to where being left alone with my thoughts isn't a bad thing for me anymore and I talk to myself a lot but I don't feel lonely but when u are around people and they either don't like you or don't interact with you it's a lot I'm a very emotional person and it kills me when that happens I think it's in our nature when we are around people to want to be liked as so on and so forth and I wish I could say it will all be better soon but about 14 to 18 was really bad for me and a lot of that was because of school everyone wants something different and it all feels so unattainable but when you get out into the real word away from school because it is literal hell on earth and realize that even though these people know more then you and have skills you might not yet but that NO ONE is better than anyone that is honestly when life got the easiest I hope everything works out.

I don't know but it should be addressed and I have noticed more people have started home schooling which might help but there will always be problems one of my high school years I was virtual due to covid and I wouldn't do any of the work but then a few years later went o collage for phlebotomy and did real good honestly I think everything to do with the bad high school experience is because 1. you are made to feel like nothing more than a grade and because of no student left behind here in America a lot of kids never learn what they need to know and are shooed to the next grade making it worse so the school looks better rather than helping kids to learn 2. in those really formative years a lot is going on everything is a popularity contest and there is a lot of hormones and emotions none of you are taught to deals with and are taught to have shame in not knowing how to help them so you do things you might regret 3. parents teaching their kids sometimes by accident to be little shits and to not care for others and not do anything but make it worse than someone does try to do the right thing and tell an adult that they are worried and are told to let it go or they try to do something about it and go about it the wrong way and being an adult and seeing people with kids i notice a lot of parents just want to be left alone and will do anything to have to do less as a parent then blame the kid when they become a not so great adult 

A few things here... first, the grass is always greener on the other side. Others may look like they have lots of friends, are popular, etc, but who knows what kind of drama, etc is going on behind the scenes amongst those same people. When you look at it from that perspective, maybe it's better that you aren't involved.

Second, others come and go throughout your life. After school, everyone takes different paths, starts college/working, starts families, etc and slowly loses contact with eachother as life gets in the way. I can't even remember the last time I talked with somebody from high school. I didn't stop talking to anyone out of malice, it's just that we all went our separate paths, responsibilities piled up, and we gradually lost touch.

So overall, I wouldn't consider your lack of high school friendships a referendum on how likeable you are. I'm sure you'll eventually find communities that cater towards your interests/hobbies and make friends through those. Will it happen overnight? Probably not, but high school isn't the be all, end all that it seems like it is right now, I promise you.

 Having NO friends, is literally the worst, for real. I have been in your place multiple times and sadly at the end of the day there is nothing you can really do except just TRY to talk to everyone until something clicks and someone feels interested in you. There are not tricks or shortcuts sadly, you just need to meet more and more people until something gets it and that is pretty much it, but I trust you can do it

just talk w everybdy like try to find ur ppl dont force it