and back to the “Girl Without Friends” saga

Appreciate the FUCKING simple pleasure of hanging out with friends. It might seem like a normal thing, but that’s simply my dream. When I’m not at school or at work, I spend the day on my phone in my room. Why am I addicted to my phone? Because I’m depressed? Because I don’t like leaving the house? Or because I’m antisocial? NO—it’s because I don’t have any friends. I don’t know if you guys can go out alone and have fun by yourselves, but I can’t. I really wish I could go out with a group of friends—it seems so cool and welcoming. I’d really love to; I want to feel that happiness, no matter how simple and ordinary it may be.

I understand this feeling. I have severe AVPD and so I've never experienced friendship in real life. I have had a few online friends in the past, but have spent the longest stretches of time with none. I do have one right now which is neat. Hearing about people having friends in real life just seems so abstract to me lmao. I can't even imagine myself in that situation.

You've seen my credentials, so now here is what helped me cope:

Focus on hobbies. Get something you can slowly get better at and focus on it. For me it was drawing and 3D modeling and I eventually got good enough at to have it get me a job. It's incredibly rewarding to watch yourself improve, suddenly all of that time you spent alone has had a great purpose. 

Think about yourself and what you have rather than of what you don't. I know it's easier said than done but you get nothing out of yearning for what you can't have.

Play games, read books, watch shows... Don't let yourself doomscroll on your phone, it's the single worst thing you can do

Either way, I feel for you, and hope that it ends up working out for you.

Making friends is hard. I think we tend to choose people with similarities to make it easier. I tend to make my coworkers friends and I know people don’t like that, but honestly we see those people a lot more than our families or being in the outside world. Might as well make work enjoyable and be friends with people we see 40+ hours. I’d try that. But also making friends pushes you to try new things and try something out that somebody else likes. If you hear someone talk about a show or like an activity, check it out on your own, so that you have a common topic to talk about. To make friends we have to be willing to mold ourselves a bit to find common ground, and if they’re a good friend back they’ll do the same. And you can have different friend groups for different things.

Also I like making friends everywhere but I can be introverted, when I’m out I usually just chug a drink and make a compliment haha and hope for the best that the person talks back. If they don’t well oh well, their loss! On to the next.

wow this is so me. just know i love you and you're not alone because it's like you explained my thoughts perfectly lol. but i'm at the acceptance stage!