Appreciate the FUCKING simple pleasure of hanging out with friends. It might seem like a normal thing, but that’s simply my dream. When I’m not at school or at work, I spend the day on my phone in my room. Why am I addicted to my phone? Because I’m depressed? Because I don’t like leaving the house? Or because I’m antisocial? NO—it’s because I don’t have any friends. I don’t know if you guys can go out alone and have fun by yourselves, but I can’t. I really wish I could go out with a group of friends—it seems so cool and welcoming. I’d really love to; I want to feel that happiness, no matter how simple and ordinary it may be.
I understand this feeling. I have severe AVPD and so I've never experienced friendship in real life. I have had a few online friends in the past, but have spent the longest stretches of time with none. I do have one right now which is neat. Hearing about people having friends in real life just seems so abstract to me lmao. I can't even imagine myself in that situation.
You've seen my credentials, so now here is what helped me cope:
Focus on hobbies. Get something you can slowly get better at and focus on it. For me it was drawing and 3D modeling and I eventually got good enough at to have it get me a job. It's incredibly rewarding to watch yourself improve, suddenly all of that time you spent alone has had a great purpose.
Think about yourself and what you have rather than of what you don't. I know it's easier said than done but you get nothing out of yearning for what you can't have.
Play games, read books, watch shows... Don't let yourself doomscroll on your phone, it's the single worst thing you can do
Either way, I feel for you, and hope that it ends up working out for you.
Making friends is hard. I think we tend to choose people with similarities to make it easier. I tend to make my coworkers friends and I know people don’t like that, but honestly we see those people a lot more than our families or being in the outside world. Might as well make work enjoyable and be friends with people we see 40+ hours. I’d try that. But also making friends pushes you to try new things and try something out that somebody else likes. If you hear someone talk about a show or like an activity, check it out on your own, so that you have a common topic to talk about. To make friends we have to be willing to mold ourselves a bit to find common ground, and if they’re a good friend back they’ll do the same. And you can have different friend groups for different things.
Also I like making friends everywhere but I can be introverted, when I’m out I usually just chug a drink and make a compliment haha and hope for the best that the person talks back. If they don’t well oh well, their loss! On to the next.
wow this is so me. just know i love you and you're not alone because it's like you explained my thoughts perfectly lol. but i'm at the acceptance stage!
@dee Thanks for that, I think it's best if you don't get too happy about identifying with that lol
Its genuinely so hard being a teenager and finding people to fit in with. And it sounds so cliche but it's so true.
Omg I feel the same, i'm so fucking isolated
@Aprettyoddbunny I am really sorry 🫤
I feel the exact same way it’s lit so wicked how bad the loneliness can get with having no friends
“Hold onto your dreams kid, the future is built on dreams.”— Optimus Prime
@NthingmoreNthingLess exactly
I relate so much.. I literally don’t leave home unless I NEED to, I’m an exec for one of the biggest clubs at my uni, yet all of my “friends” are just people that tolerate me because they’re friends with my boyfriends. Nobody ever invites me directly, invitations are always through my boyfriend; if they don’t bother inviting me directly, I just feel like it’s a courtesy invite and that I’m not actually wanted there. And when I go out to socials it’s always just me standing awkwardly to the side with my boyfriend. If anyone comes up to us it’s only ever to talk to my boyfriend. So I just stay home. I’m in my final year of law school and my only friends IRL are my boyfriend and a girl from my hometown it’s so Over
@himekomori That's impossible, I'm going through the same thing.
I love my boyfriend, but I can't stand it when he tries to comfort me by saying I'm not alone because someone is my friend, BUT THOSE ARE THEIR FRIENDS, they're all their friends who don't care about me at all and only speak out of politeness, And not only that, when I'm near my boyfriend they stop making jokes, and that only makes it more obvious how unwelcome I am. I put them on alert, and I only consider my boyfriend a friend, So I end up being around him all the time and I feel like I'm hindering his friendships with his own friends. The only friends I have are online, so I end up just glued to my phone. 
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