Rejection at its finest...

I don't even know how to put this into words without sounding desperate, but I feel like I'm slowly disappearing. I've spent the day watching my friends list count drop, and every time the number goes down, it feels like a tiny piece of me is being erased. It's not just a number, it feels like a confirmation that I'm not wanted.

I tried. I actually tried today. I put myself out there and sent three requests to people I wanted to connect with, and all three were a "no." It's just a button, I know that, but it feels like a door being slammed in my face three times in a row. 

The worst part is the guilt. I know I have active friends. I know there are people in my life who care about me, but for some reason, that doesn't stop the aching. It doesn't stop the sinking feeling in my chest that tells me I'm not enough. I'm just so tired of fighting this feeling of being invisible or disposable. I needed to scream this into the void because I don't know where else to put this agony...

My favourite saying is smaller circles create the best times what that means is you don’t need loads of friends or followers in life to be happy what you need is confidence in yourself have a fun time with yourself or your small group of people lots of people around you looks like fun but most of the time that leaves more room for people to be pushed out keep it small with people you can trust and remember it’s your life to live no one else’s do what feels right for you ❤️

“Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.”  “Can’t see the forest for the trees.” “Paralysis by analysis.”
“Lose the battle to win the war”


 



all phrases closely resembling the situation you need to realize in your circumstance. Dont cripple yourself in the first digits when you playing a game in hundreds.  
What you are experiencing is a very common experience and its not necessarily you,but if you waste your effort to notice it so much, and for it to wound you so deeply, you lay there, crippled, unable to move, and thats when you really lose out on everything, because everyone else stays traveling, and they aint got the time or energy to stay back just on your account. This will happen. And you caring so much, is gonna result in it happening a lot more. 
you need to stand back and realize the game your playing is a lot broader than that, because what you want lasts a lot longer than that. Real friends dont know you a week so dont cry about those who leave you in one, the investment is a long time,the digits are just static on the tv. specs in the wind. power through, and over time, those that matter are those that will stay. 
But if you lay down and die in the snow no ones coming out to get you. you gotta crawl to the fire and take a seat. 

I mean, you've done it to others so you know there are many reasons why people reject friend requests, if you assume negativity behind it then it probably says more about you than it does them. 

I feel you, bro.. on spacehey, for every 10 requests I'd send out, only about 4 would accept. the ones that declined were also the ones I had the most in common with. I couldn't understand what was such a big turn-off, downer, or whatever made them decide to decline. it upset me more than anything else that took place on the site. nowadays I very rarely send any out, out of fear of rejection. the last thing I'd ever want to do is upset anybody on here. what few I've sent on this site were people I was already friends with on spacehey, and if one of those friends brought someone they knew here and asked people to add them in a bulletin or something like that. and I sent out maybe 2 random ones because I liked the way they code their page. I think I can count my sent requests on one hand. as for the decline in the count, I think some newbies that come along just don't grasp the way to make a site like this work, and they leave. I used to play the unfriend-finder game, a little challenge - figure out who it was! but lately I've kind of stopped caring. add me, don't add me, keep me, delete me, whatever, dood..