I’m making this a forum post and not a blog post so people actually reply
I was quite bad to my friend of 1.5 or so years. I only really realised that I was horrible to them on Wednesday I think; I was really unfair and mean to them, but I didn’t… know that I was being like that. I have a suspected personality disorder, if that helps with explaining my behaviour. I simply didn’t realise that I was such a bitch. I really hurt them, I know they’ve cried and had breakdowns and stuff since I did talk to them after I broke up with them.
I never physically abused them or yelled at them but I was still really bitchy, and I feel … disgusted by my actions. People praise me for wanting to recover but I can’t stop thinking about the harm I caused. They hurt me too, yes, and they weren’t the best person at all really, but they didn’t deserve what I did.
I am 14 so it’s not like I’m a grown ass man going around hurting people but still. I’ve written them a medium-lengthy letter to apologise and explain myself because I felt bad but I don’t really feel like it was enough. I was so disgusting to them. Vulnerable post but whatever, I want help and I don’t want to unknowingly bring that pain on anyone else ever again. How do I stop the overthinking so I can actually get better?