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Can I get some advice on the lyrics for this song im writing?

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sry i already posted it in a blog but foums usually work better for this, I usually drop these but im determined to try and not let my ADHD stop me cause I do really want to write a song I just keep dropping it and moving on to making a new one

this is the one I'm trying to write about me moving:


The days pass at a leisurely pace, its sunny days, summer stays, 


What do you mean I have to go, to leave all I’ve ever had behind like the dust kicked up behind my feet as I walk, on and on and on and on, oh why oh why won’t it stop  (dramatic pause) I want more time I need more time for it to be just us, but I can’t stay in the moment I have to go, I don’t get a choice its done, I wish it didn’t have to be this way but I will come back. 


Everything I’ve ever known slipping through my fingers like the sand trickling down an hourglass, there goes my childhood home, the street I’ve known, the life I never thought I’d lose wooooaaa(move towards a scream) AAAAAAAAAAAAH


Why don’t I get a choice, why don’t I get a voice why can’t I pathe the path im meant to have a say in, where the fuck is my AUTONOMY


I’m running out now time, the clock ticks faster seconds passing turn into days and weeks and months till my year is up, and I have to board the plane and I will be alone again I always end up alone, but I can live in the moment for as long as I can, I will treasure each of these memories like an otter holds on to their favourite rock I won’t let go I can’t let go these precious times I’ve spent with you I don’t want to leave but I don’t get a choice in the matter


A flurry of sand, slipping down the glass swirling in a furious hurricane, the clock won’t stop, it keeps speeding up Until I run out of time


please reply constructive feedback <3

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