09/29, 23:17

I can’t tell if it’s because for half my life I’ve been regarded as a freak or something but it genuinely baffles me when people actually acknowledge me.

There’s this kid in my class, who I see for 2:10:00 every day because the class is a job-ready typa thing, but he’s one of those people you hear always talking and is hella outgoing (he literally calls himself the “group leader” when regarding the class..)

Today we had to read something aloud where whoever read chose the next person to read and in this class I barely spoke more than 8 words within the month we’ve been in it.

So as it came to his turn, he read like 6 words before saying, “Hmm.. I think Sadan should go,” and, yes he butchered my name, but I had NO idea he even remembered I had one!

I read obviously. I’m not quiet because I’m insecure, I’m just situationally mute.. but the fact he chose me out of everyone else kind of shocked me.

And he didn’t do it to make fun of me, at least.. I don’t think he did.. but he didn’t sound mocking — more matter-of-fact than anything, like choosing me was choosing an answer nobody else could figure out.

Thankfully my teacher went on a tangent about something after I finished so he chose the next person for me! But I forget people actually know I’m alive and not some ghost drifting around and watching everyone..