#1

I must be going crazy. Whether its the fact I watch scary things or its just that damn device like any parent would say, I keep nearly convincing myself that someone's outside watching me, or that someone armed is going to break in, or that when I'm in a car I'm sure to crash, or my parents will find out what they never would accept me for, I keep thinking this world isn't real, I'm not as happy anymore and more of grumpy, and snappy. I'd rather stay in my bed, I'd rather eat an entire buffet or not eat at all, I'm scared for school and it's only fear that I feel instead of excitement or something not as negative because I don't want to feel like a failure, or be in drama, or have panic attacks everyday in lunch because I'm too sensitive to stimuli, I feel like I'm slipping away from the world, I don't even feel like a person, I feel like a burden, I keep making people upset and I'm upset at myself for not being everywhere and anywhere for all the people I care for, I don't have motivation for anything and the most simple thing is too much of a chore, I swear that my every move is being watched, I swear that one day everyone will just leave me. I don't know what's wrong with me, I just want to be normal.