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practice blowed today. i don't even know why i'm doing this. i am 23 years old and playing lacrosse like some kind of kid. fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

i wanted to do anything other than this honestly. if i could've been an author, i think i would've. but i'm stuck on a sports scholarship playing stupid And it is so Grating.

it doesn't help that i got zero sleep because my computer decided not to shut down and start making noise at like 2 in the god damn morning. and it WASN'T him. so i don't know what's even going on! awesome!!! can't even ask eli either

just have to sit through a couple of classes before i can go pass out on the couch