TW: Mentions of suicide
Okay so today was normal, but throughout the day I desperately wanted to run away. Isn't that bad? I daydream about my life in the future, all happy and living my life. I plan about my wedding and raising kids with my gf. But I want to push everyone away and start again. Maybe it's because no one needs me. Everyone has someone else to talk to and laugh with. But not me, so I try to push them away because they don't need me. So then I joke about if I died because I fantasize about ending it when im alone. Sure maybe they'll shed some tears but they'll forget and move on. For now I'll dream and cope with my fantasies. Because it'll become reality some day.
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GL00MY
hey, man. I just wanted to let you know that you're wanted! Your feelings are valid and you aren't alone at all. I myself struggle with those thoughts. I know you've probably heard it a million times before, but it won't stay like this forever. Just think of it this way, would you rather end it all now to end the pain you experience in this very moment, or you would you rather wait and see. See that maybe you'll meet someone and start the best friendship or relationship of your life. Maybe you'll try some food and it becomes your favorite food ever. Maybe you'll find a song that you really like and you can't stop listening to, and maybe you'll go to the band's next concert. You'll never get to experience these wonderful things if you aren't alive. And remember, do things you enjoy for yourself and not for other people's validation. If these thoughts get too scary, consider seeking professional help, since people online aren't therapists. I just hope that you understand what I say and that it will help you in later life. Stay safe, friend, and if you need anyone to talk to, I and many other people on this site and in the outside world are here for you <3