A 6 With My Words; A 2 If You Had To Meet Me.

July 3rd, 11:46 PM

I feel so incredibly lucky to be able to feel all these new emotions and have all these experiences with someone like her, and she’s so patient with me; it makes me so happy. She knows how I am when it comes to these kinds of experiences and makes sure she’s not rushing anything. The most attractive thing about her has to be her understanding of me. Honestly, when it comes to new experiences and emotions I’m not familiar with, I've always pushed those kinds of feelings away from me because I’ve been too scared to open myself to these things. I’m scared of being vulnerable with the wrong person, but I really do feel like I can ease up; she seems just right.

I went to the fireworks show near me with Ace; It was pretty cool except the fireworks themselves were somewhat disappointing, but who am I to judge? It's not like I live up to much either, we ditched the fireworks and got the greatest funnel cake known to man. He said it was pretty gay to be doing this, and I don’t really disagree with him; it was fairly gay, to be honest with you. Two dudes at a firework show at night sharing a funnel cake, talking about love, pretty gay if you ask me.

 I didn’t get to tell Ace about my girlfriend as much as I’d wanted to talk about her, but if I told him about everything I think about her, we’d probably still be there. I told him how it was going, about her sisters, her pets, and about herself. I told him about how we started talking, about how we got together, all the letters, and I ranted about how cool she was. God, I need her to tell me this isn’t normal. I need her to tell me that I shouldn’t be thinking about her this much, but how could I not? She’s amazing.

Hanging out with one friend at a time rather than multiple at a time is honestly my preferred way of spending time with my friends. I don’t like the sizable group that is 4-5 people; it's just too noisy and overstimulating. On another note, to add a bit of normalcy to a pathetic letter, the 4th of July seems fairly promising. I should have a few friends over, and I’m going to walk to the park when it gets late enough to see all the fireworks. I’m going to make some s’mores with my family, so it should be pretty cool. I love s’mores, they’re so good.

Sorry if this letter is a bit apathetic compared to others; it’s lacking a bit of inspiration, sure, but that’s because I write best when I lament. Expressing regret, confusion, or negative emotion as a whole is a lot more pure and fruitful of an emotion to harvest than when you have your mind made up. I know exactly what I’m feeling, and I know exactly what I want, and that in and of itself is the best feeling ever.

No Sun To Rise Would Be Okay With Me (Bonus Letter)

I get to go to sleep thinking about her tonight, knowing I’m her boyfriend. How lucky am I?

She makes it so hard to be normal about her. I’m obsessed with her, and I’m sick of acting like I’m not. After all, what’s the point of acting casual about these things when it's obvious neither of us is about the other.

“How is he holding up?” I couldn’t be doing any better.