a girl, an angel (poem)

"tonight is the night", i thought 

as i mixed fentanyl with liquor 

but then i got a text from her 

and my heart raced quicker 

she offered solace in loneliness 

she offered love when i had none 

but i wondered, would it mean anything when the deed is said and done? 

8 attempts, each attempt more desperate than the last 

when you try to die, it seems it seems it doesn't come to you very fast 

yet love will come when least expected, as a light to blind the past 

death seems even farther away when she is in my company 

shes a confusion in a scary world, yet her presence seems heavenly