a girl, an angel (poem)

"tonight is the night", i thought 

as i mixed fentanyl with liquor 

but then i got a text from her 

and my heart raced quicker 

she offered solace in loneliness 

she offered love when i had none 

but i wondered, would it mean anything when the deed is said and done? 

8 attempts, each attempt more desperate than the last 

when you try to die, it seems it doesn't come to you very fast 

yet love will come when least expected, as a light to blind the past 

death seems even farther away when she is in my company 

shes a confusion in a scary world, yet her presence seems heavenly