A little sad

I know this isnt usually what i post but it doesnt really matter. Dont take this too seriously though, its just some random things abiut my life that maybe other might relate to. I dont know if its just me but my whole life whenever i was sad or really anything happened in my life, i needed my mother’s affection. Despite me and my mom always having a really healthy mother-daughter relationship and being literally like close friends, making fun of eachother, joking and laughing, i never wanted to acknowledge the fact that no matter how much i try to act tough, its just not who i am. She worked abroad for as long as i can remember, usuLly my father too so i grew up more with my friends and grandma. I got used to it, sure, heck even when i was little i didnt even care that much. But now, that im in my teenage years and grew up holding everything in, it just drove me to miss her even more and yearn to be able to live a happy life. My fathwr wasnt any better, he dissapointed me many times and that didnt help either. What im trying to say is that no matter how much one tries to hide something, if its truly what they think, then they cant just make it dissapear just becayse they’re trying to hide it. To this day i still look for affection in any older woman i see and sometimes even men but its not the most comfortable thing to be honest. Just think next time, before neglecting a thought, maybe try to elaborate it