A Sound Is Still A Sound Around No One

July, Somewhere Somehow, 2026

I don't know why I continue writing for this book, each stroke of my pen slower than the last, words deemed too personal for another soul to see. Despite how close and personal you may claim to be with your friends there will always be things that you'll hide nobody knows how disgusting you are except yourself Im not sure if ill ever be that close with anyone including my girlfriend i feel loike im so scared of intimacy because im scared of getting close to someone just for them to leave or that theyll be disgusted with every new fact she learns about me. There are so many things I've never told anyone, and I'm unsure if I ever will share them. Every moment I am awake, I'm in constant conflict with myself. It's such a struggle to get up and shower; I have zero motivation for anything at all. Every time I look in the mirror, I get just a little less hopeful for anything at all. Sometimes I wonder if I bother my girlfriend too much. She says she loves when I talk to her and is unsure if I'm annoyed by her. She's so pretty and such a sweetheart; I hope if anything were to happen to me, she'd be alright. I don't deserve her; I'm inadequate. I'm not all that muscular, I'm not good-looking, and I look like an idiot next to her. I'm so awkward, and that just adds to my distaste for myself in a room; I feel so alien and creature-like. I feel like no one will ever really understand who I am as a person, nor would anyone take the time to bother.