Abuse

Since SOMEONE wants to say we don't deserve anything because we abused him, here's our side of the story he's trying so desperately to manipulate. 

We have BPD, he has NPD.

We used to internalise our splits a lot until he asked us to be mean to him to stop him from being mean to us because he was MEAN.

he would constantly belittle our appearance, tell us he felt nauseous at our appearance, called us fat as a joke all the time until we said for him to stop (tbf we did say we were fine with it but who thinks it's funny to joke about others being fat), he would also say he hates being around us cus we looked like nausea and smelled like sick. 

So, we unknowingly started targeting our splits towards him which ofc caused problems, so we tried to agress it and he somehow convinced us that our splits are abuse.

We would leave spontaneously during text arguments and not come back because we knew we were gonna split and be horrible, his response to this was to tell us to 'just don't' and beg for us to come back + threaten or relationship sometimes since he was having anxiety attacks.

Since we felt bad about that, we stopped leaving during arguments and suddenly we got more "abusive" since we were splitting, he would get really passive aggressive during those 'arguements' and say that we're abusive because we were being defensive and aggressive because again we were splitting. We ofc tried to do something about that and asked for help to stop being "abusive", he didn't help, said he couldn't help because we should know how to do it already and that we should've "just stop", we asked for help countless times but he refused. 

Yk the meanness I referenced at the start? He said he didn't count it as being mean because he was 9... He was 12-now btw. 

He would also at the end of the relationship tell us we deserved it when we would vent and that he didn't respect our new alter's identities because we "messed me up".

He would also weaponise "communication is key" and would constantly use it against us when he brung up us leaving during text arguments.

He also never took no for a good answer and would get super pissy, he even blocked us once because we didn't let him use OUR phone number to make an account on something..

He also constantly said he was the bad person and then an hour later would flip TOTALLY on us and blame us for everything, AND when we were manipulated into believing we were the abuser, he would say he didn't care and that he wants us to get physically abusive because he doesn't feel like he's a victim enough.

..

He also got super angry at us for not responding to his texts at least once a day and would spam call us and threaten the relationship because we were too busy or drained to text him, he wouldn't take any text like 'cant talk now' without raging btw.

He would also get rlly uncomfortable when we went into our room to hang out because it was dirty (we have a hoarding disorder) and said we constantly need to clean it, even though we'd say we didn't want to hang out in our room before because it's too messy and he got really uncomfortable to be around when we were in our room. 

What are the things we did you ask??

We once refused to apologise during an active argument because we were too angry to be able to say it seriously and asked for time to cool down (he refused and kept pressuring us to apologize, although we were kinda rlly mean during that argument tbh..)

We were kinda mean during arguments and would start them a lot, we think it's because of our bpd and splitting but that isn't an excuse 

We can't remember much else because our dissociation and memory problems have completely blacked out almost everything pertaining to our ex, the only reason we have all of these points is because we have a list in our notes app for therapy. 

[EDIT]: he also keeps posting about how we don't deserve friends, how we should kill ourselves because he left and we "did me dirty" and he keeps posting about wanting to kill us. We do NOT deserve this. WE ARE A VICTIM AND WE'RE TIRED OF PRETENDING WE AREN'T 

He also was rlly mean to us after we broke up and stuck with us/texted us all the time, he even told us he doesn't care if we kill ourselves when he got "fed up" with our "shit" (the "shit" in question being us reposting vent edits about him, he said he wouldn't look at our reposts so we thought that was a safe space to vent without it being weaponised)

He also said we had him trapped in the relationship even though we would beg him to leave us because he successfully manipulated us into believing we were the abuser. 

We're SICK of him denying the abuse he did to us. 

SICK.