Abusers getting better

Look, we know we shouldn't at all be posting this after what happened last time but we need an outlet for this

So our abuser recognised he abused us after almost three months of breaking up with us

And instead of getting worse, getting karma or something, he gets BETTER???

why?

Why does he get better NOW

why does he choose to have a better life NOW

where is our revenge 

Where do we get vengeance for how much of our life has been FUCKED OVER and scarred PERMANENTLY because of his abuse

Why does he get better now, why does he have a better life than we ever have, why does he get the life we have never had because of him 

He's so peaceful and happy and all the things he took away from us 

We can't do anything without thinking of him, or doing a mannerism that reminds us of him or ANYTHING 

He gets to have a life we never had, at peace with all his abuse and getting better, calling himself a fucking PHOENIX and we still have open fucking wounds because of him 

We have his name on our ankle PERMANENTLY goddamnit 

Why can't we heal, or have hope, or have ANYTHING 

why can't he get karma

Why

.. 

We still eat tears for fucking breakfast, lunch, and dinner sometimes because of him

And he gets a free healing pass?

He gets to be all glad and healed and happy and we get what, flashback after flashback when getting reminded of him? 

We want the life we never had because of him. We want the life that was taken from us. We want our unscarred mind back. We want revenge. 

Why does he get to heal and we don't?

He has so many people around him

So many friends

So much opportunities and help and people and money

People stand with him even though he did so much wrong to us

He hurt us so bad

He gave us an addiction, two in fact

And what do we get?

What opportunities, or people, or help do we get?

We're a VICTIM of his ABUSE and he gets more than us

Maybe we aren't a victim

Maybe we were the abuser and we just convinced ourselves we weren't

Maybe that's why we're getting worse

Maybe that's why we have barely anything 

(Edit): he also says he apologised for it on his socials but he never actually did, the only thing close to an apology was "I guess I did do bad, but you also hurt me and that's worse"