after how many consecutive nights of being unable to sleep until past 4am do you begin to believe that sleep is a hindrance and a waste of time

i think too much during my waking hours (8 or 9am-4am or later the next day on average which means i am awake nearly 20 hours a day almost every day with some exceptions) to functionally be able to clock into the dream factory as often as human biology states necessary

i’m tired as fuck and i don’t understand why despite that my brain still persists with its delayed sleep states like a fucking idiot

i can literally feel all of my accumulated brain gunk beginning to coagulate because i don’t get enough sleep to cycle out all of the waste

wikihow to be able to force myself to go to sleep without having to use medication or supplements natural or otherwise

having an average of less than 5 hours of sleep per day almost every day of the week cannot be sustainable even if i want to live convinced that it must be because i’m able to remain upright and decently functional (minus the being a human person beyond what i am capable of providing part)