All frats gotta go

I have been saying this for YEARS. YEARS. and mfs saying "omg but my cousin's frat is SO chill tho" and "you just had a bad experience" and "it's not ALL of them" and guess what. it IS all of them. it has always been all of them. i am done being polite about it. OHIO STATE SUSPENDED A FRATERNITY after video surfaced of TWO PEOPLE ENGULFED IN FLAMES. ENGULFED. not singed. not "a little scare." TWO HUMANS. ON FIRE. ON CAMERA. and the thing that makes me want to bite drywall is that it took the VIDEO. the chapter's own version of events couldn't survive the footage. so where was risk management?? where was the advisor?? where was ANYBODY?? the suspension followed the tape. it did not precede it. congratulations, you did nothing until a camera did it for you. CORNELL WAS NEGOTIATING A FRATERNITY'S RETURN TO CAMPUS DAYS BEFORE A FUCKING GANG RAPE LAWSUIT WAS FILED AGAINST IT. DAYS!!! you literally could not write this. the welcome-back paperwork was still warm and the lawsuit landed on it like a piano falling out of a window. reinstatement is supposed to mean "we checked and they're fine." they were not fine. they were days away from being sued. either the review missed it or the review was never built to catch it, and BOTH of those answers are humiliating. so at this point? at this point, IF YOU'RE A FRAT, LITERALLY GO FUCK YOURSELF IN THE ASS. I HATE ALL OF Y'ALL.  not "some of y'all." ALL. every last one. no exceptions, no "but philanthropy," no "but our chapter's different." your chapter is NOT different. your chapter is the same house with different letters nailed to the front like a bumper sticker on a car that's already on fire.

and don't give me the excuse either. don't sit in my comments and tell me it's a few bad apples. it is not a few bad apples, it is the TREE. look at the structure:

•  a house of 100 nineteen-year-olds with the combined executive function of a wet paper bag

•  officers who hold the job for EXACTLY one year, so accountability expires before anyone can find it

•  an alumni board that shows up twice a semester, tops, and mostly to look at the lawn

•  a national org whose only real interest is the BRAND and the insurance premium

•  and a university that will suspend you for the press release and reinstate you in six months because it needs the housing inventory and the alumni money

nobody in that chain has both the authority AND the incentive to enforce a damn thing. so it all runs on vibes and a hope and a prayer until something catches fire. sometimes LITERALLY. that's not a few bad apples, that's a design flaw.

and the cycle is so stable you could set your watch to it:

fire → roof → haze → lawsuit → 400-word statement → suspension → "negotiation" → reinstatement → repeat. every single semester. the nationals commit to NOTHING. the university wrings its hands. and every september a brand new crop of eighteen-year-olds walks into the same building and inherits the same failure modes with ZERO institutional memory, because nobody who was there last year is there this year, because EVERYONE GRADUATES.

it's a machine that produces incidents on a schedule and calls it tradition.