alone vs lonely

often i am alone

i wake up, in my room i am alone; i go through my day conversing mostly with the small voice inside my head, alone; i sing along to music, i only hear my voice, i am alone; i am content, and alone.

many times in life we are in the company of ourself, and no one else. this can be good, it allows us to understand and bond with the person we are, and build on who we want to become. yet, there is a thin line between the tranquility and serenity of enjoying your own company - alone - and the feeling of being lonely. 

lonliness is a dull, consuming emotion, and it is becoming increasingly frequent that i experience it. it is not that i dont enjoy solitude, but the fact that it isnt by choice anymore. before, i used to see alone time as a privilage, something id save for the end of my day, winding down and taking care of myself, because i love her and she deserves it. but now, now i have no one, my friends hang out without me, and when i suggest plans everyone becomes busy. i no longer choose to be alone, and this makes it difficult to enjoy the times that i am. 

i am currently working on building a better relationship with myself. i know that before any relationship, comes my relationship with myself. i must learn to like myself, before i demand that anyone else does.