Another face Another dollar.

This week has been a beautiful time, life got dark and money got really tight, plans got cancelled and work refuses to help, much more likely a backlash from an unpaid karma I'll retribute instead of 20 reincarnations as a fruit fly.

For starters, I'm quitting my job, looking for something with more allowance, I was comfortable and I was known, I was needed and looked after at the place, but they got silly with money and I believe in my axioms as rule of life, "Clean Business, Long Friendships" so this dirty one they been pulling made me strip out my loyalty for a dire nihilism that I didn't knew I had in me.

For seconds, My documents are pending on 10 days or I'll be undocumented again in a foreign country, I've payed already for my lawyer and my accountant to run it as soon as they can but the law forces me to take care of it despite them being allowed to take care of these matters, but I am in thin ice legally. 

For thirds, my grandmother died yesterday, a sad but already known notice, didn't had the heart to see her a last time, to say goodbye or love you, couldn't speak about it. Couldn't get a resolution but at least she did in her own terms, I'll be fine, it's something I have to process as well as the price of the burial.

For Fourths, my ex game back, looking for me, after 6 peaceful months, she returned decided to cross my way and try to convince me to come back. 

Maybe I've been playing too much Crucible but I can't help to think of all the problems like an enemy in front of me and myself as a submachine gun. I don't feel like sleeping, eating, seeing, loving or hating. But I have a crave of rage unspoken that shakes my spine and breaks my spirit.

I'll be able to speak better tomorrow I hope, but for now. Only the cold mattress and the dark pillows will take me to slumber, into the backdoor of dreams I'll leave.