Another vent, mainly about the recent news.

As much as I want to say I don't believe it, I can't.

I'm ashamed to admit it but I don't feel as scared as I feel like I should be.

Maybe it's because I kinda saw this coming, but god its still so fucking scary to think about.

Like if they can go this far, do something this sick, what else are they going to do.

I know its dumb to ask, I already know the answer, but its just... fuck man why now.

A lot of my fear comes from me worrying about my younger siblings and my nieces and nephew. 

About what could happen to them now or in the future.

My nieces and nephew are still really young but what's going to happen when they grow up and don't fit into the social norms. 

This is kinda unrelated, but there are days where I'm worried my younger brother and sister are going to go to school one day and just not come home. 

I'm scared one day I'll get a call from my older brother saying that....

Why does everything have to be so fucked right now, why am I expected to see all this awful shit happen and keep marching on with the world, to keep studying, to keep doing anything to ignore all of this. 

And I can't talk to my parents about his because they voted for that orange shriveled dick bastard, I can't and don't want to talk to my younger siblings about this because I don't want them to know that I'm freaking the fuck out, and I can't talk to my older siblings because they hardly ever talk to me anymore.

I know that it can't stay like this forever, but am I ever going to be alive when its over?

Will anyone I care for be alive?

idk