I'm just making this little rant post because I struggle in public, and it really annoys me because I don't really have that many friends ...at all.
One of my biggest gripes is just the feeling of being out of place, no matter where I am. It's not like this all the time, but sometimes it gets to me a lot.
Example: The other day I had decided to try and face my fears and go out to the store by myself, interact with people, smile at them, stuff like that. So it was going well, I got my things from the store, and I acted normal and pleasant (?)
Then I took a wrong turn (Literally) and got lost. I could have just went back the way I came from, but everytime I saw someone looking at me, I got that feeling again. Like, "is my clothes on weird? Do I have something on my face? Can they tell that I don't usually go out?" And I felt like everyone KNEW I got lost, and had to turn back, so I didn't want to.
Anyway, I ended up following the path home, and ended up having to go about 20 extra minutes out of the way because I looped around the shops weirdly.
Theres been worse times, but that one was the most recent. I just want to be able to lift my head when I walk on the street, and not pretend I don't notice the people around me, so they won't look at me.
It's a bit dumb, but that what I want to do, to be able to interact, talk to people. I sometimes have trouble talking to even the few friends I have. And have issues with opening up.
That's probably why I love the internet, because no one is looking at you or hearing you when you speak/type.
Sorry if this is dumb, but I just wanted to write a little rant about some things I've been struggling with.
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annieapplepies
I personally like writing letters to people.
(I know what to recommend but not how to start…)
Writing letters is actually similar to IMs… the only difference is that you really have to value patience and you can really jot down all of your thoughts without having to be shamed for writing big paragraphs since it isn’t as quick and easy as instantaneous messaging. I think it’s nice to be content with waiting every once in a while. Plus, you get to decorate your letters, show them how each message is cared for and certain aesthetics that they apply to it!! And maybe as this trust begins to build up between you and your pen pal maybe you’ll be able to meet up. I recommend your pen pal be somewhere near your area so there’s not much anonymity , less risk ya know