April 17th 8:48 EST : sorrow in my own pain

Do the rats care about this life? Am I just a cat praying to catch prey?

"Let it out and breathe" is what I say. If it doesn't work keep trying, sweetheart.

Don't DROWN in the pain, oh please. Bring the antidote to the pain, grab the microphone and scream. scream! SCREAM! The days that frighten me the most are the ones where they don't pull my tail- leash me up and chain me to the post. 

sorry my babies.... I didn't know what was right. In another life you will get the best, the best life you'll ever get. 

Freedom comes at a cost of love and loss. Frostbite in my heart, the cold won't affect me as long as I leave. My fangs bite at your neck, and you still forgive. Your voice slashes at my throat. Breath lost. 

You're the prettiest person I've ever seen yet I push it away, I push you away. I snap and you still love me. I don't deserve this. Why do you still love me? Why do you yell and take things away when all I try to do is calm myself down.

The loss of innocence is like the bite of an animal. An animal that won't let go. An animal that dies in your hands, that makes you cry. 

Her ghost still haunts me. The deer that never needed to be hunted. Hung on a tree. Mud and sewage all over me. It shouldn't even matter in the end. 

I have it the best and yet it makes me die. Oh you kill me well. Shattered into two, char my ashes, put them in the trash. 

I still have that hope, I wish it could leave, but it never does. I keep defying this fate. The fate of myself. Prey and predator at war.