Avoidant?

Am I avoidant? Am I hard to read, do I keep too many secrets? I never thought so. I, actually, thought I give away too much information. I mean, I've divulged some pretty personal information on way too many occasions; my home life, my childhood, stuff that goes on in my mind. That sounds pretty open to me!

But apparently, according to my friends and girlfriend, I'm secretive and I don't talk enough about my emotions. What? That makes no sense to me. I tell them about every thing I feel. I thought I just don't feel as much as they do, but no, I'm very emotional.

I guess I only talk about the stuff I deem important enough to burden them with. Which isn't much. My life is insignificant compared to them. Fear of sinning is normal, questioning your identity isn't traumatic, and arguing with your parents isn't worth mention, to me. I guess that's wrong. I guess I should be more open with them.

It's hard, though. I feel like I'm begging for attention, like I'm just forcing them to care about me, like I'm taking away from people who deserve it more. They struggle so much more than I do, even with their own brains. I'm not sad or depressed like they are, just very bored. I'm not suicidal nor self destructive. I'm not disordered, I'm not abused, nothing is wrong with me. Nothing about me is worth talking about.

I'm sorry for talking. This is a waste of server space and I'll probably delete it soon.