Beginning my Alchemical Transmutation - Part 1

I've decided it is now time to get out of my 18 years of Nigredo and begin to finally answer the call and reach a state of the union of all my opposites

For those who don't know, I've spent the major time of my life having existential crisis, which has been like awakening from a dream only to realize you've not woke up yet and go on in a loop that has been repeating, waiting for me to go to the next step and do something different

This crisis went on for years and they often come in different shapes, events and situations; this is what the alchemists refer to as "Nigredo" the symbolic putrefaction and inner death necessary for transmutation and both spiritual and mental evolution of the person

Maybe I may write the rest of my journey of inner alchemical process here