being human

does anyone feel like they're not very good at being human? like, the basics are there but when i have to actually try its not so great. i can talk well in my head, but when im face to face with someone it all feels like a test im failing. i empathize and feel for people, but i really can't express it to their face. i might have strong feelings towards something, but i feel awkward trying to show it, almost like i have to force my reactions. i have to think about my expressions, my tone, my answers, things that seem like they should be natural. sometimes i watch other people talk and wonder how they seem to interact so easily, like it barely takes any effort for them. i guess thats why I like to be alone haha. its much less stressful, like finally being able to breathe again. im not neurodivergent or anything, im not sure what's wrong with me. sorry, im just yapping here lol. im not unhappy with the isolation or anything. its not a sad feeling, just a confusing one.  im sure others can relate.

hey, we can even have a little alien party together 👽<3 

(also, i think I used the word 'like' about 500 times here. also commas galore. need to work on that!)