Being in a country where you dont meet their beauty standards

ive been in a very..restricted and quite racist whitewashed country, and im darksin, for years without travel and i feel trapped and sad i haven’t traveled in so long… abroad is where opportunities can be and where my dark skin is appreciated and seen as normal and beautiful… it really does get to you as a teenager too it indoctrinates you with a gross lame mindset i just cant be in this country im not suited for it yk that saying “water can cost 50 cents in store but 5£ in airport” so your appreciated worth really can be based on your environment . 

i dont want to sound unappreciative and spoiled and I truly believe that there is a way to stand out in a good way to be honest even when you have such unique features like as being dark skin you can use that as an advantage and as a skill to climb your way up, essentially, but it’s difficult when you have family relatives who judge and talk. 

I strongly believe in the ideology of manifestation and faking it till you make it et cetera and that you can make your life good and to how you want it to be I really really strongly believe that but sometimes the lame 3-D people and the environment of the country that you’re in can just really get to you but I think this is this can be a reminder for me to remember that and not let it get to me. 

bye :) !