Being mixed :(

People talk about being mixed, but they don't talk about it. They acknowledge the difficulties, but it's always disregarded. I have a hard time loving myself because it feels like my identity is split in two, so I don't know who I am. For context, I'm Louisiana Creole, so I'm black, but I'm mixed with a variety of things, which affect my appearance. I have brown skin, but when people see my hair type, they're quick to think that my hair is damaged or that my hair isn't normal because it's a loose hair type. When people look at my ears, they always ask what happened to them because they don't look normal, when really it's just my genetics. It's like no matter what, my appearance will always be picked apart, and it makes it hard to look in the mirror and love myself. People always joke that I'm not fully black or that I can only celebrate half of Black History Month. I sometimes wish that people would understand that making jokes like that ALL the time hurts. They can be funny, but not when it's always just right in your face. Being mixed is like being a puddle of paint, and the color you get is gross and muddy. I feel like I'll never be enough of something. I hope people read this blog and somehow relate to me.