being you is a new way to be human

im not really a materialist, sometimes i catch myself staring too long at other people. looked too hard and found myself dreaming of what its like to be them, imagining me who isnt really me, wearing their clothes. seeing myself as less than them, like i was a pre-evolution subhuman. 

i keep thinking i just need to break out a cocoon, whatever it is. the ultimate conclusion ends at the fact that i can no longer just turn overnight. even if a small ounce of confidence is ingrained into my belief. ive always been me. there are only divided phases but how people perceive me and how i react constantly comes from me. it would be useless to try and turn into someone else

i finally understand that all these insecurities, although ineradicable completely, are caused from my own perspective. not of others. i only acknowledge their eyes on me when i see myself through them. all of these thoughts of self doubts are just projections from what ive learned with other people.

we dont shape our lives around our identities, we slowly melt into society once we get older. once we become the majority. the working people. 

its impossible to not have the urge to be right and be beside other people. but we're so much brave when we recognize our uniqueness, the strengths that builds our self profile. even better when we find others that are alike. 

i wish we could all find peace in self content, uninhibited by hours of media consumption, endless celebrity news scrolls, the need to be aesthetically fitting, evil face profiling, pinterest boards, egotistical echo chambers of beauty opinions and other modern mediums for idea exchange