Blog #4 || Feeling out of place

So, I moved into a new school and feeling out of place is normal 100%! But the thing is, I just feel completely out of place like—As if I don't belong there or feel welcome.

I talked to the admin to request course changes since I got put into classes I wanted to avoid/not be in like guitar classes and visual art related thingd. But then she looked at me with like a full deadass glare and asked with a really judgemental tone

  "Why did you even go to [art school]?" 

Honestly, I wish I knew too. I signed up for an art school because I wanted to be an actor and audition for all the cool musicals and plays (spoiler alert, I didn't) and left because I was planning to join the military as a medic—but then over the summer I gave up on that dream so now I'm here 🤷‍♂️

In the end during course requests, we sat down for like 10 minutes discussing other options I could take before I ended up just taking acting and theater tech. If I knew I was gonna choose those classes, I should've just stayed at the Art school instead of switching schools simply because i originally as mentioned wanted to join the military and get away from that place because my metal health was deteriorating.

But over summer, I've becme slightly better and then as soon as I start talking to one of the other new kids as well during orientation... Just got a bad feelin' im gonna have the worst High School experience at that new school im going to this year. 

And—not to be mean, I don't want to come up with assumptions but one of the other many guys wouldn't stop talkin' me after I talked to him like... Once. It was just so annoying for some reason because I was trynna listen to what our guide and the teachers had to say during orientation and hes just there talking and making random comments. 

He also mocked me for being an art kid and loudly announced that I said the school's theater is better than the art school's theater and it was pretty embarrassin... Mean my fault about that, the technical booth at my new school was way better than the one at my old school and thats about it! The chairs are probably mad uncomfortable at my new school anyway since it's just pure wood instead of plush seats for fucks sake!! 

that's pretty much everything I gotta rant about today... Thank you to readin' this if you do ♡

—Signed, Hansiel