calling everyone with BPD

TW FOR SUICIDE YALL

so how do yall with BPD cope with loosing a fp because ours of FIVE YEARS just left us and blocked us on everything..

ive been scream-crying for hours and everything i like and take joy from is tied to him- all my hyperfixations are from him, he's literally my only friend and my whole year hates me so theres 0 possibility of new friends or fps

and wanna know the worst part? I WAS THE REASON HE LEFT- i got too bad with my mh and he left because he couldnt take my bs any longer

i just want him back, he's the only thing keeping me alive, i tried to beg for him to come back and he didnt listen

i thought he liked me, he said i was the only person he felt connection to

he lied to me

he literally asked to meet up and then just.. broke up with me

i cant get over him- its not an option

he told me he'd think about coming back if i get more mature ad emotionally stable

but how do i do that

i helped him when he was at his lowest, i gave him help when he was just like me now and now that im worse he just.. leaves?

i want the help i gave him

i want him back

if yall cant tell im absolutely not ok

- ⋆｡˚꒰ঌ Hollow ໒꒱˚｡⋆ and ֹ  ⑅᜔  ׄ ݊ ݂ Powder  ۪ ֹ ᮫  from ⊹ ࣪ ˖꣑ৎ 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝐹𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒𝐶𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑒 ✮ ˎˊ˗