cant tell if im just angsty or borderline

cuz like im looking at the mayo clinic page and im not like. frequently suicidal. i havent really been actively suicidal since 6th grade and ive never self harmed but i feel like i fit a lot of the other criteria

idk i feel like with the suicidal stuff it was less about wanting to kill myself and more wondering if i killed myself if anyone would miss me

and im not really that like bipolar about how i feel about people 

and i dont really self sabotage good things

sometimes i see myself as bad but more often its as if i dont exist

idrk

maybe im not REALLY tenna coded uh oh

edit: uh oh part 2