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I feel like there is much hypocrisy amount an all religions, I am not religious and maybe it’s because I am neurodivergent and have never truly grasped the concept of it. If what anyone hast to say is true, then god isn’t evil or anything, if he is kind and loving, I assure you he wouldn’t hate you for being trans or making mistakes. Emotions, acts, moral is different for everyone and so complex we don’t all know how to make of it and I am sure everyone is aware of that. You are not hurting anyone or yourself, god made your soul, your vessel is just another fact, if god truly loves you and wants you to be happy I am sure he understands and with the unknowing pain he is causing you he just wants you to be happy and comfortable in your body. I am taking this from a more of my more loose understanding as someone who isn’t 100% religious but I assure you, but you are not evil for wanting to be comfortable in your own mind and body.

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if having faith is hurting you then you should question your relationship with it or just hold off on religion for a bit and come to your own conclusions. I cant provide the best advice bc I'm not a believer but I think it was made for people to be happy so my advice is to not take it too seriously and focus on the good parts and just try to develop a relationship with it that you can be happy with, and if you cant then don't let it get you down

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i promise you will not suffer for eternity, but im sorry your family says those things